Hi and welcome!
As a ten-year old, I remember being envious of my little sister always getting hugs. We were not a particularly physically demonstrative family, and sitting on knees, cuddling etc was for the little ones only (I was the eldest of 4).
It meant that when I attended an international boarding school aged 16, I was astonished to discover people touching each other, as if it was a normal, natural thing.
Boys holding hands, girls arm in arm, cheek-kissing the norm – everywhere I looked, people were hugging or at least bumping up against each others bodies.
I loved it.
When I went home for the first holidays, I introduced it there. Sidling up against my Mum as she was at the kitchen counter, I slid an arm around her waist. I felt the shock waves of surprise in her body and her face, but I didn’t stop. I loved it. The physical affection that I hadn’t known was missing was back, and here to stay.
And that’s what it’s like when you give ageing a hug.
But if you haven’t been that friendly with ageing, you don’t want to just give it a hug right away, just like you wouldn’t probably hug a stranger, unless the context made it feel appropriate.
With possible new friends, you want to find out about them, discover what makes them tick, to learn if you have things in common. At the end of that first meeting up, you might well have a short hug, or a kiss on the cheek. At the very least, a handshake, or fist bump.
And that’s what happens here too.
Regardless of where you are in your relationship with this ageing thing, we go back to beginnings. You’re wanting to build a friendship that is hopefully going to last a long time – a healthy relationship that can take the ups and downs of life, which in older age often have something to do with the body and its’ capabilities.
If you have even the slightest thought of ‘I wish ageing wasn’t happening’, or feeling sad, irritated, fearful about it, then there is room for an improvement in your relationship with ageing.
Maybe you’re…
recently retired
changed to working part-time
become a widow/er
are concerned about your future
you just don’t know what to do with yourself, so you’re sitting around and wondering a lot.
feeling guilty, as if you really should be doing something productive
(I was amazed how much the Scottish puritan work ethic had resided in me all these years, and poked it’s little head up everywhere anytime I wasn’t ‘doing’ something I considered worthwhile).
My writing and other offerings are all designed to help you become happier with who you are (and are becoming) at this time in your life.
❤️ What You Get Free from Embracing Ageing:
A place to feel warm, welcome and a bit more accepting of your own ageing, even on the days you’re not keen on it
A mix of inspiration, humour, and lightness around something people insist on making terribly gloomy, in short, thoughtful posts you can read 3-4 times a month
A free gift: my poster “6 Unusual Tips for Ageing with Confidence, Courage and Clarity” (which includes ideas you probably won’t have tried yet)
An occasional taste from my Embracing Ageing Toolkit (see below)
❤️ ❤️ ❤️ Paid Subscribers: Access to The Embracing Ageing Treasure Trove
If you choose to become a paid subscriber (thank you!) the Treasure Trove includes:
My best gems, pointers, and inspiration from over 35 years of being in the personal growth world, so you can still grow, blossom and bloom in the way you want to, during this fourth era of your life.
Regular expert input on things like nutrition and exercise, so you can balance your body in the best way possible
Discounts on any programmes I run in the year, including my Conscious Ageing Circle, a monthly call where we explore all the subjects not normally talked about at this time of life, have a giggle, and impart our wisdom to each other.
Here’s the truth on my view of ageing:
You can be positive about getting older. You can eat well, move your body, think good thoughts… all of that.
And still, ageing brings challenges and losses.
Some of the losses are small but surprisingly irritating, like taking longer to process things, or realising the stairs have become a bit of an event in themselves. Some are bigger, like retirement, shifts in purpose, changes in health, or losing people you love.
You might not want to admit any of this, but the fact is, it happens.
The Treasure Trove can help you deal with it all.
Not to fix everything. But to help you cope with the little losses that quietly chip away, and the bigger ones that totally knock you sideways.
And, if we’re doing it right, to help you stay yourself through it all.
Thank you! Whether you decide to become a free or paying subscriber, it’s great you want to explore this ageing journey, as I explore mine. I have total confidence we are going to have fun along the way, even when it feels like rubbish (which let’s face it, it often can!).
Want to know more about me?
In 2023 I stepped back from the end of life planning not-for-profit I founded in 2016, after 35 years of being self-employed in the personal growth field. The last year has been about me discovering what it’s like to have more time, and notice the fact that I am ageing. It’s been quite illuminating!
Especially the amount of guilt that arose, and feelings of total identity with my work, which I had no idea were there. Instead of immediately returning to the world of work, I have been experimenting with ‘doing’ less, and ‘being’ more.
Quite something for the person who in 1992, was the first to bring Louise L. Hay’s work to the UK and Europe, running ‘You Can Heal Your Life’® study groups. That led to a career in counselling, training and speaking.
I’ve been a writer since 1997 when I self-published my first book well before that was a ‘thing’. My husband’s death in 2015 when I was 54 and felt too young to be an old widow, but too old to be a young one was a turning point. I wrote about this in Gifted By Grief.
That led to me doing a TedX talk, How to Do a Good Death, founding a not-for-profit,
Before I Go Solutions, and also having a third book taken on by a publisher, Before I Go: The Essential Guide to Creating a Good End of Life Plan.
The company was closed down for various reasons, but the need to plan ahead for a good and healthy ageing process and end of life is still just as important! Hence this newsletter.
Finally - the good news is I married again during lockdown, to a man who had also been widowed, and we have been building a new house as well as a new life together ever since. Here’s a wee pic of us on our wedding day. (Yes, we are both Scottish, living in the Highlands near Inverness).
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