Having a project when older

Building our own house over 7 years

Oct 19, 2025

Hi there!

Last week we had an Open House event. This was a big deal - we were celebrating receiving our Completion Certificate. (You can see it here on the table, we framed it, we were so excited!)

I come from a very artistic background, the wallhanging is by Alastair Duncan, my brother; the other artworks are by my Mum.

This is the official document you receive from the Council that states it is okay to live in your new house. (Mmm, we might have already been living in it while finishing it off!)

Anyway, I’m always up for a good party, so we told local folk about it and many dropped in between 3-6pm last Sunday. We had a few before and after pics, which led me to reflect on how, when and why we started this project, and how it’s been good for us.

Old cottage, new front of house, my doodle drawing of it from the back

In 2017, Ian and I had been together for a couple of years, both of us having been widowed, and him retired. He lived in Glasgow and I was 4 hours drive away. It didn’t take long before he realised how gorgeous it is living up here, and he soon put an offer in on a tiny cottage in the middle of the town, backing onto the Mosset Burn (a wee stream). I said to him ‘If you want me to live with you, it needs an extension - I need a room for myself, a bath, a garden and a new kitchen.’ Nothing if not clear!

Consequently, Ian had plans drawn up and just before submitting them to the Council, we fortunately got some builders round who both told us the original cottage hadn’t been built substantially enough to service an extension - in fact it was going to have to come down. Hence we were catapulted into a new build, whether we liked it or not.

Being a quirky kind of guy, Ian was determined to dismantle the cottage himself, and spent the next year doing just that.

The plans and build

The end result was a much bigger, more modern house, the shell of which (slab, outside walls, windows, doors and roof) were constructed by professional builders, who then handed over the keys to Ian, and he did the rest.

That was everything from a kilometre of underfloor heating pipes, to constructing all internal walls, insulating it all so not even a tiny weeny gasp of air could come in. He also installed the air source heat pump, the kitchen and bathroom plumbing, the ceilings - everything you can think of.

Stress free building

Ian likes working alone best and so everything took a long time. Everyone wanted to know when it would be finished, and he never gave a date. Not even to me. Gosh, did I hate this! I was used to only one way of getting a project completed - select an end date, work backwards to find the first step, and then keep stepping forward until it’s finished.

But he did it a different way. Without a deadline, there was no room for stress - when you take the timeline out of something, then everything just happens in the time it takes. I learnt, very slowly, that actually this way of doing things can work; and I’m now doing my best to apply this theory to my writing, the development of my work and all my other projects. Good thing I have an expert to learn from.

It was a lot of building and learning, and more building, and Ian loved every minute of it. He referred to it as ‘playing at creating a house’. I helped (I was working full time), but I really came into my element when we got to the interior design. I love doing that kind of thing, and the ideas had lived in my head for so long it was great to get them out and into reality.

What’s all this got to do with old age?

Well, if Ian hadn’t sold his family home in Glasgow and moved to a much cheaper part of the country up north, it wouldn’t have been financially possible. So there’s that, but more importantly, we addressed several things about ageing with this build:

Planning ahead for older age. We needed more income coming in, and we designed it to have a lodger with whom we would share the utility room. This studio flat could also be for a carer, should we need that in older age. (Good forward thinking, don’t you think?) We were only able to do that though, because we were willing to face the fact that we were both getting older, and one day (if we’re lucky) we’d be ancient.
A project together. My parents had renovated an old farmhouse in France when they were in their sixties, so I had a good role model for a creative, shared experience. Ian was 65 when we started this house build; I had just turned 60.
Kept us exercising. There’s nothing like lifting heavy bags of cement, manoeuvring long lengths of wood, bending and stretching when plastering, to keep you fit!
Provided us with entertainment. We couldn’t get enough of it - even our chosen programme to watch at the end of a long day on the house was Escape to the Chateau, and their renovations. It was a relief to sit down after a long day of building work and watch other people experiencing all the challenges!
The emphasis was on enjoyment. Because both of us had lost our spouses, we were (and are) appreciative of every moment that life brings us. We know how easy it is for life to just disappear. Thus the priority was having a good time doing this build, and when that wasn’t happening, we stopped. Had a few days off, an outing or just a regular nap. (I must admit that often our outings included a visit to the local timber merchant or DIY shop! But as we both love that kind of place, it still fell into the category of enjoyment).
Always learning. While both of us had renovated several properties with our previous spouses, we’d never done a new build, and there was a lot of assistance from YouTube, and other online advice portals. Especially plastering - that was required in the studio flat during lockdown, no way we were going to get a plasterer then.

Looking back now (and there’s still lots to do outside - Ian is currently creating a gate for the side of the house, so the deer won’t come into the back garden in the winter), the above points were obvious.

I never thought about them when it was happening, but they are all true. At least a few of them could be applied to any new project, whether with a partner or a friend. Let me know if you’ve had a project, or got one, that you’re working on, I’d love to hear.

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